A Year in Review

To my dear reader,

Thursday, August 28th marks my first full year in New York City, and I have been doing some reflecting, thinking about what I have to show from this first year, and thinking about what I want to do with the next year. No, I can’t say I am the next Bernadette Peters yet… I’ll admit I had hoped for more this year, instead I’ve been defeated more times in the audition wars, and my greatest victories have come from unexpected places. After this year, I’m probably right on schedule, I survived!!! I have heard most actors quit within the first two years, so I always say if I can make it though that mark, all will be fine. It is easy to forget how big of a feat it is that I have continued to live, work, and pay rent in the most expensive city in the United States with no financial support from my beloved mom and dad. They clipped those apron strings and it is an amazing accomplishment… so thank you. They have been more necessary for emotional support. Those midnight phone calls where I’m having a break down… (Good thing for the three hour time difference). I always feel so bad because what can they really do for me from way over there, but it’s something I do every now and then… what can I say, I’m kind of emotional.

Many people know what brought me to New York was the opportunity to play “Anita” in West Side Story. Without that opportunity, I would not be here now. Last summer, prior to my arrival, I was on the phone with my director, Dana Tarantino. She was talking about how exciting it was to bring young actors from so many different places together for this project. She said, you never know who might meet their future spouse, my immediate response being “or agent.” Well the agent situation has been so so, but guess who ended up falling in love during the production? Yep, that would be me! Quite a surprise coming from the girl who never showed much interest in those things. I’ve spent most of my life wearing blinders, tunneling my vision toward one single goal, I was (and still am) going to “make it.” Recently, I read a book called “Making it on Broadway” by Jodie Langel, and what I got from this book is there is no such thing as “Making it on Broadway.” People who win Tony awards, don’t work for five years after, there are no guarantees in this life. So, then what is my life about? Who will be there though those five years? Well Langston has been there this year (we celebrate one year on November 13th).

I also became a mother… relax; I adopted a cat from the ASPCA. She’s my mouse trap (oh yes, I’ve had those too). Her name is Penelope, a two year old black and white kitty. She is my sweet girl, and has become oh so much more than a mouse trap.

It is true when they say to survive in New York you need a network of friends; people taking their journey right alongside you from the beginning. A self-chosen “odd one out” most of the time in college, I admit I would be lost without this safety net. I have made best friends this year with people I have known for years. I have made new friends, expanding that network and diversifying it. Where I come from, it is very easy to become sheltered, but in New York I am surrounded by diversity in every aspect of life. Daily I hear languages I have never heard, try foods you would never see in Seattle. To look up on the subway and realize you are the only Caucasian can be a very humbling experience. And how many white girls from Sammamish, Washington fall in love with a black boy from the Bronx. I have to say I am proud of that.

I have also expanded my professional network. I have met a lot of people in my field and have worked up my data base of casting directors and agents. I must say I am quite the business woman, and would make a great agent or casting director myself. It takes a while to figure things out. My biggest advice, listen when they tell you not to stop training! I have a tendency to become too much of a business person and stop developing my talent. After West Side Story, I went to work at the T Salon over time, filling me with wonderful tea, but sucking all my ambitions and time away. In May, I left the T Salon, and became a tour guide for “Foods of New York,” giving me a new hobby, New York City history (nerd alert!!) and more time to devote to acting. “Don’t Tell Mama… [but since June] I’ve been working in a nightclub in a pair of lacy pants.” (Of funny joke, I told you I was a nerd). I have performed twice now in the Seth Bisen-Hersh Talent Showcase at “Don’t Tell Mama” on 46th Street. In July, I did a one week intensive called “Making it on Broadway” directed by Jodie Langel, a Broadway actress, and author of “Making it on Broadway.” I meet aspiring actors like myself, gained new resources, and began to get my training back on track with the help of some great teachers. I also had the honor of participating in a workshop with the beautiful and talented leading lady Donna Murphy. She said she thought I was “terrific”!!! While working at the T Salon, Daniel Raymont, and a professional film actor (Bride Wars, 2009) as well as one of our regulars came in. I asked him if he had any advice; he said your auditions will always be better when you have a creative outlet. Lately I feel broken; I dropped the ball and am auditioning even though I know I have issues that need to be fixed. In year two, I plan to rediscover my love for theatre and constantly nurture my creative self.

I am going to take a minute to talk about my mom, and the incredible year she has had. In June of 2007, the Refvem’s were gathered together as a family, and my mother doing her normal “talk, talk, talk,” starts telling everyone she is going to go back to college, complete her Bachelors, get a Masters in Nursing, become a manager for Children’s Hospital, and go to Japan and work in the Toyota Factory. WHAT?!?! Where did this come from? I hadn’t heard anything about this! Why had she chosen to announce this huge list of goals in public? It is said “No one plans to fail, they only fail to plan.” Once you write down your goals, or in this case blurt them out all at once, they are more likely to happen. And guess who did go to Japan, is currently moving into management at Children’s Hospital in Seattle, and is pursuing those degrees at the University of Washington? My mom. What a moment of bravery. She didn’t know these things would really happen; they were all hopes and speculations as the future of her career as a nurse was being evaluated. I am so proud of my mom, and inspired by her.

Now, I am ready to evaluate the future of my career. By the end of this calendar year I will land my first role in a paying production. I will find a commercial agent. I will never again neglect developing my craft. I will have a theatrical agent and become part of Actor’s Equity by the time I’m 25. Become a “working actor” (meaning I make my money acting) by age 30. I would like to make it on Broadway and win that Tony Award. I still dream of joining the ranks of Bernadette and Donna and the Broadway leading ladies. It has been a hard year though, and I am working on believing in my dreams again… I want to believe.

A coworker of mine, also a fellow actor, was chatting with Langston and myself on Bleecker Street one evening. He gave us this important advice, “Don’t become too much actors, and not enough human beings”… He said he didn’t get that impression from either of us, but I have taken his advice to heart. Yes, I do want to “make it,” but this year has made me realize that there is so much more to life. I believe there is a plan for me, and things are happening the way they are supposed to. As I set off again with new aspirations, I know that what has happened so far is all part of my journey, and no one thing will take the place of a rich life. So, wish me luck and stay tuned, there is so much more ahead.

Love, Heather